Wanna Get Ficced?

This is NOT part of Comic Dork Sunday, though it could be, given what I'm about to discuss, but it's not. Because that thing is done and in the bag, and I am not adding another entry to it right now.

If you don't know yet, I am creating my own costume this Halloween. A couple of Halloweens ago, I went as a Green Lantern. I made myself a skirt, painted up so cheap boots, and painted up a busted old shirt I had. It looked fucking awesome. (I cannot, at the moment, find the picture, but trust me.) This year, because I just don't have enough things to do with my time, I'm making a full dress, mod style (or so I hope), pairing it with my boots from two years ago (which are white, pleather, and awesome), and dying my hair red. I shall be Gal Gardner. And it will, of course, be awesome.

Anyway, this made me think of a GL costume for the ladies I've been seeing in Previews for years. It's this one. It has a mini skirt, boot pullovers, and a halter neckline. The copy (such as it is) tries to sell the costume as empowering because Green Lanterns are all about willpower and ass-kicking. Which, yeah. But guys, seriously, there is a much easier way to sell that costume. And that way is Arisia.

Don't know Arisia? She's a Green Lantern, and in canon, her costume looks like this, and her official bust from DC looks like this, and her official action figure from DC looks like this (scroll down about a quarter of the page. So, basically, you are dressing as Arisia if she lived in the real world and not a comic book.

I want to make it clear that I generally don't have an issue with Arisia's costume. The bust and the action figure are more tit-tacular than I'd like, but I've seen a lot of good takes on Arisia's costume, mostly the cover artist and inside penciller for "Emerald Warriors" who gave us (collectively) this glorious face-punching shot and numerous instances of Arisia in her tiny skirt (and other tiny things) and not looking sort of skeevy. As a lover of minis, I can't ever disagree with Arisia's wardrobe, but I definitely appreciate when an artist stops to think about how ridiculous it could look versus how believable they can make it look.

Also, for the love of fuck, do not seach "arisia green lantern costume" without safe search on Google unless you want your brain to die a little. I don't have issues with porn of fictional characters, but when I'm not expecting it, something breaks in my head.

Years and years and years ago, some friends got me into The Reverend Horton Heat, and I've seen them in concert twice. Well, twice before tonight. You see, I got a lead on free tickets, and so The Husband and I signed up for that badassery, and then when we got in, we got tickets for two free drinks (the whole shebang was sponsored by Jack Daniels), and we danced the HELL out of the place, and it was awesome.

It should be noted: The Husband--while having natural rhythm when keeping time--does not have natural dancing rhythm, so when he dances with me, it's not graceful for him, but he always (ALWAYS) dances with me, and if that's not true love, I don't know what is. I danced a good portion of the night alone, but it wasn't due to The Husband not being willing. I'm perfectly happy dancing by myself, as I figure no one ever knows who I am so who gives a fuck.

By the way, if you've never heard of the Rev, he and his band sing fuck-yes rockabilly music that is balls-out awesome. If you've ever played Guitar Hero, this should be familiar to you:



(I have no responsibility for the trippiness of this vid.)

And one of my personal favorites:



The best moment of the night that did not include The Husband dancing with me is as follows:

About halfway through the show, I jumped onto a bench on the side of the dance floor because, a) I'm short, and b) it's easier to scream for the Jimbo Song when I feel like I can be heard over the crowd. I was dancing while standing on the bench, and this super-looking biker dude, walks up to me, waits for me to lean over, and says in my ear:

"Dios FUCKING Mios."

To which I can only grin, because, AWESOME. Look, I know I'm awesome, but outside sources, based ENTIRELY on how I look in jeans and a tee? FUCKING AWESOME.

Also, the Jimbo Song:



[Jimbo, for the record, is the stand-up bass player. He is AWESOME.]

Tonight? Fucking ROCKED. The Rev is good for damned near any mood you're in, and I will always recommend him. Also? I got hit on. By a complete stranger. With The Husband about two feet from me. FUCK YES.

The Husband and I went on a Christmas Money shopping spree tonight. At the last store we visited, we were at the counter, the check-out woman ringing up our purchases, and a guy walked in. He twigged me immediately. Something about the way he walked was off. He did a lap of the store, then walked up to the counter. He interrupted our check-out process to ask if a certain woman was working. The check-out woman told him no. He asked (still interrupting our process) when she'd work next. She told him she didn't know. He asked if she could tell him. She said she would, just as soon as she'd finished ringing up our sale.

And then the guy stood there and stared at all of us while he waited for her to finish. It squicked her out, I could tell. She kept sort of glancing at him, and she couldn't quite keep smiling. She managed to flag down another clerk and asked her to check the schedule. Even after she did that, the guy still stood at the counter, watching all of us.

As we were leaving, I turned to The Husband, and I said, "Fucking creeper."

HIM: "You think so?"
ME: "Totally. You didn't pick up on that?"
HIM: "I dunno. He seemed all right."
ME: "No way. That's an abusive guy in there."
HIM: "Really?"
ME: "He walks in the store and does a lap without talking to anyone. He doesn't know her schedule, and he interrupted the one busy clerk to demand information about the chick."
HIM: "Alternate theory: Maybe they met and got to chatting, and he didn't get her number, but he knew where she worked."
ME: "Nope. No way."
HIM: "Really?"
ME: "If he had come in and done a lap and then asked a non-busy clerk, I probably wouldn't call him a creep, but it's the combination. He came in like he was trying to prove something; he interrupted the single busy person because he's so important, and he's asking after someone who either doesn't know him well enough or like him well enough to give up her working hours."
HIM: "How do you always see this stuff?"
ME: "I'm a girl."

And, really, it's as basic as that. I'm a woman. I live in a world where creepers will show up at my workplace and demand information because, by god, they have a RIGHT to get in my face and possibly harm me because they are MEN.

Not all men are like this--in fact, it's a very small percentage--but they're the men that women always remember. Maybe because they make a point of being remembered for being total assholes. I've always had solid instincts on creeps (thanks, bio dad!), and they've gotten sharper in the last couple of years. One of the things that really honed them in regards to strangers is a book by Gavin De Becker called The Gift of Fear. De Becker is a behavioral expert who's worked with a lot of agencies and individuals, and he wrote the book back in the 90s to help show women (he specifically says he's writing for women) how to spot signs of danger and violence around them. His reason for this is simple: Violence happens to women. It happens a lot. And almost every single time, you can spot it coming if you trust your intuition.

Your intuition, De Becker argues, is just your common sense working more quickly than you can keep up with, but if you train it, you'll be able to use it effectively. I'm an intuitive person. I can walk into a room and have a good idea of whether or not shit is about to go down. I can read people pretty well, and I'm usually the one going, "I don't care how nice he's being now. He's a fucking creep! DUMP HIM FOR FUCK'S SAKE." And then, two weeks later, I will usually say, "I fucking TOLD YOU," and then that person will call me a heartless bitch and so on and so forth.

If you're a woman, you should read the book. It's a good read. If you trigger reading about other people being injured or killed, skip it. De Becker doesn't hold back on descriptions (but is not, in my estimation, sensational with them), using former cases of his to showcase his points, and I think it's all used well, but it may make some of you twitchy. He also flat-out states that if you know you're in an abusive relationship and you stay in it, it's your own fault. He says the psychological aspect of abuse does factor in but stands by his view that there are people (even total strangers) who are willing to help women out of abusive relationships. And perhaps this will make a few of you see red, but I don't see what he's saying as victim blaming. He's not saying, "You're in an abusive relationship because you deserved it." He's saying, "If you know you're in one, and you don't make attempts to remove yourself from it, you're not protecting yourself, and that is your fault."

So, that's what I wanted to say. Trust your instincts and learn to train them. Don't go around hyper-aware of every possible danger. Learn the signs of actual danger. Those are the dangers you have to worry about.

or to say it another way, a list!

-- Reading the Palimotti/Connor Power Girl so far, I don't see what caused some feminists in fandom to get so up in arms about it. People look at PG's boobs. She handles it with aplomb. I'm a busty girl myself (32d-29-35), and I tend to respond in a similar, "yup, those are boobs," fashion. I don't think it makes me less of a feminist to be comfortable enough in my body to be amused and sometimes enjoy getting checked out. There's a big difference between someone innocently admiring and someone being a creep. And sometimes, in the right top, it's freaking funny. Like today, when I threw on a fitted turtleneck and wondered why a guest at my office kept glancing at me. Then I remembered my top fit very well, and it was cold in the office. The guy wasn't a skeeve about it; he just noticed it and couldn't quite stop looking at the pointy parts of my shirt. Oh, noes, invasive male gaze! Or, you know, not.

-- On a similar note, I remember when some fandom feminists flipped shit because Dean on "Supernatural" made a comment about killing a whore. He was obviously a sexist asshole with no respect for women. Except, in context, while he does say "Some days, you get to kill a whore," he was specifically mentioning the whore of Babylon. Who had shown up in that episode. And would bring on the end of fucking times. I don't have first-hand experience in the show's general views of women, but this time? It doesn't fucking count against them. The whore of Babylon is an actual Biblical reference, and the whore needs to be killed to stop the end times. I take no offense in a couple of demon hunters wanting her dead.

--Gail Simone recently noted on Twitter that she likes that Ed Benes gets kind of ridiculous when he draws female characters. While I will never quite forgive him for putting Black Canary in a thong all the freakin' time, knowing that Simone enjoys that about his work makes it easier to appreciate the slight sleaze of it in books she writes. She's cool with it, so I'm getting cool with it. Given, if someone else comes forth and is skeavy about their appreciation of it, I may dislike it on that book, but it's a book by book basis, and a writer (or artist) having a penis doesn't mean his appreciation of a little T&A is immediately sexist.

--On a related note, I bought a big chunk of what Simone-written "Birds of Prey" is available on the comixology app store, and I was pleasantly surprised that while Greg Land's porn star faces are obvious from a mile away, he does draw a damned modest Black Canary costume. They're more boy shorts than classic leotard, and I like the take on it because it looks comfortable. Simone, to my knowledge, has never commented on Land's style, but even if she said she was totally cool with it, I can't stop playing "face shot bingo." It's a really easy game: Every time one of Land's female drawings look like they're about to take a faceful of sperm, you win a square.

So, in short, in general fandom feminists make me twitch, and I appreciate when someone gives me a view to consider. Considering someone else's view doesn't invalidate mine, and I enjoy the process.

Also, I typed this on my iPad, so if you see it immediately, there will probably be typos.
EDIT: Typos fixed, I think.