Wanna Get Ficced?

I'm camped out at the really good local coffee shop with a bottomless cup [$2.83, but there are five kinds of coffee to choose from] and my stack of "to-do". I'm in the mood to bitch and moan, so I'm gonna do that, and then I'm offering up my comments section for everyone else to share in the general venting. Some of us are students, some are teachers, some are tutors, some are librarians. And I think we can all agree that finals time [or that last push to get to June] pretty much sucks massive.

I'd rather be writing porn.

So let's compare notes and get some of the exhaustion out of our systems.


What's a Professional Writing major, you ask? You know all those instruction booklets you get with computers, televisions, and blenders? The ones you don't read? I'm gonna write those for a living. I'm also going to write employee manuals, travel guides, and possibly edit books. It all depends on where I have the most fun.

You know what's not fun? Being 48 hours from the final project deadline, having completed the notes for a fourth edit, and realizing that, if I only had one more week, I could do so much more. It doesn't matter, really. No good editor is ever actually finished editing, but it drives me bonkers to look at what I have, KNOW it's GREAT work [it really is], and know that I don't have time to make it even sharper. Hell, the person I'm writing for has told me it's exactly what their business needs, and I'm sitting here thinking, "Just one more week." If I didn't already have my internship lined up, I'd offer to keep on this one piece of documentation for the whole summer.

And Bio sucks, you guys. There's nothing particular about Bio sucking--it just sucks. No, wait, I take that back. You know what sucks? Having a prof who gives the full names of hormones in the notes and then uses the ABBREVIATIONS on the test. You know what that does? That makes me pull a grade of 67.5 on a fucking test because I had the NAMES OF THE FUCKING HORMONES ASSHOLE.

And, thanks to that 67.5, I have to pull a 120/150 on the final to get a B in the class. And I have another semester of Bio after this. Because I took the wrong fucking Bio at my first college and got a D, so I was trying to wipe it from my transcript. SUCK.

French is...French. I'm an English major, folks. And while there are certainly English majors who are talented at languages in general, I am NOT one of those English majors. And we have to use conditional on the final. Fuck conditional. Fuck it hard. I have an A in French right now, and I'm fairly certain it's partly pity, partly my prof seeing me sweat blood daily, and partly the fact that my prof and I have fallen into a comfortable movie-nerd pattern. There's a part of me that thinks it's slightly unfair that I have the movie-nerd advantage over most of the class, and that I should feel bad that I'm fairly certain I'm getting slightly preferential treatment because of it, but you know what? Fuck it. I have worked my ass off trying to keep my French grade somewhere decent, and if my prof wants to bump my grade a little because we talk movies, I'm not gonna stop her.

Oh, and our last assignment before the final? A SKIT. Two of the people in my group are very good French speakers and think we should all have our lines memorized by Wednesday. My response? A great deal of hysterical laughter. I'M NOT KIDDING. They said, "Oh, we can have it memorized", and I IMMEDIATELY broke down laughing. They sit NEXT TO ME, and they have FOR THE ENTIRE SEMESTER. Where they got the idea that I'm actually GOOD at French, I HAVE NO IDEA. I had to explain that while it's awesome that they're so comfortable with French, I still forget to make the 's' silent in est. That's DAY ONE STUFF PEOPLE.

I have the smallest of mercies this semester and do not have to take the final for my Writing with Technology course. I've managed to only miss two days of the class, and that makes me exempt from the final. THANK FUCKING GOD.

My final for the course with the manual is to talk about the manual. Nifty. Except I'll have to watch at least six people who are not natural public speakers talk about their manuals, and my embarrassment squick always kicks in when I have to see stuff like that. They're all cool people, and they're great in a group setting, but I've watched them all present this semester, and it's PAINFUL. I always want to jump up and shoo them away and present for them.


That's mine. What's yours?