perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (chair leg of truth!)
perpetual_motion ([personal profile] perpetual_motion) wrote2009-06-02 08:48 pm
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STOP

Dear New!Trek Fandom:

Trek's been around longer than most of you have been alive. Kirk/Spock has been around for 40 years.

40 years.
40 motherfucking years.

You call it "Spork" again, I will saw off your fucking thumbs with a spork.

If you don't have the two fucking seconds it takes to write out, "Kirk/Spock", you don't have the fucking time to write.

So don't.

Show me your thumbs!
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[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
Fandom is doing wh--

:-O

Oh... Oh, God.

*cries and wants Scotty/Chekov*

I want to see virginal!Chekov. Written well. It's a kink. Don't judge me!

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
There Sulu/Chekov on [livejournal.com profile] newtrekslash that has virginal [but not totally helpless] Chekov.

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
Nooooo, no Sulu. Sulu is made of awesome and fencing love, but there is only Scotty.

*cuddles her Scotty plushie protectively and gives him a Chekov plushie to cuddle*

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
Were I not such a fan of Chekov being a touch of a floozy, I would write you virgin!Chekov. But I cannot. Because hotter than a 17-year-old genius with a fabulous smile is a 17-year-old genius with a fabulous smile and skill at a blowjob.

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
Hrmmm. There is indeed the allure of Chekov being able to make Scotty drop tools because of surprise!blowjob.

But, my question is, how much experience does he really have? Yes, he's 17, and a genius, but would he have had the time in between inhaling textbooks? He could've been the kind of genius that was passionately in love with what he was studying, much to the exclusion of everything else. When would the Academy have accepted him? When would he have gotten his experience to the point that he's damn good at blowjobs?

Inquiring minds want to know!

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Don't put these ideas in my head right now. I have other ideas in my head right now.

Shoo.

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
D:

*sadness and woe!*

*hangs head in shaaaame*

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
I don't buy that at all. :)

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
I could probably find an empty aluminum can to kick as I morosely walk down a dusty, unpaved road?

Maybe a rock would be better. Hmm.

Still, I can be very quiet until you finish with your original ideas. And then I can pester you with questions later?

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
Of course. You've gotten the bunny started already.

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, what? Seriously?

*hangs head*

sorry...

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
It's okay. It's a tiny bunny. It can stay in the corner and gnaw bits of greenery and get bigger before it'll get obnoxious with all its hopping around and attention-getting antics.

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, mini-bunny.

*picks up the wee bunny and heads for the corner, offering a small bit of greenery and petting it very, very gently*

I dunno what kind of bunny it is, but teeny things are usually very cute.

[identity profile] fearciuil.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
::see icon::

You know it's going to grow up into that.

[identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
They turn into plot tribbles after awhile. I can't quite track the mutation that causes it, but one idea will become two, and then will become ten, and that kind of reproduction is pure tribble.

[identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com 2009-06-03 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Heee, tribbles.

Oh, Star Trek, you've had more than effect than you realize.

<3
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